It’s no secret how much I love children, and how much I can’t wait to have my own. Besides being wildly impatient and worried about my biological timeline, I also wonder a lot about what I want to teach my children, especially my daughter(s). What I want them to learn- about life, about love, and about me. My own mother taught me so much about strength, endurance, independence and sacrifice. She taught me how to be a woman- and that’s definitely a lesson I want to repeat for my daughter(s). But there are other things too; hardships I endured by myself- lessons I had to learn on my own. And I need to impart those too. My hope is that I will have the courage to try and teach my daughter these lessons. I hope to be able to save her some pain. I know that I won’t be there every minute, for everything- but I hope that my daughter will hear me in her head when she has doubts… hear me when she’s in trouble… and then hear herself when she learns whatever lesson life is teaching her.
To My Unborn Daughter:
The very first thing I want you to know… is that my love for you is infinite- as yours will be for your children, as my mother’s is for me. My fondest wish is that you learn from my infinite love how to also love yourself… infinitely.
I’ve learned that knowledge of motherhood is not always innate, but everyone is teachable. So I apologize for any lesson I’ve learned at your expense.
I want you to endeavor to live this life. Don’t be a taker from the lives of others, a sideliner watching the lives of others, or a victim who blames others. Live this life- your life.
Remember that although anything you want in this world is attainable, everything you want in this world has consequences- every action has a reaction- and not all are good.
I want you to know that it’s okay to be afraid- and it’s okay to say that you’re afraid. A brave face is simply that- a face. You’ll never beat fear by pretending that it doesn’t exist. Acknowledge it- just don’t let it stop you.
I want you to know that you are beautiful- in every way possible, in every sense of the word. Outer beauty is not as important, no matter what the world tells you. There are those who will try to make you feel like you need to explain everything you see when you look in the mirror- don’t explain. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t let someone else’s vision of you become your own.
Everyday, when you wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worthy. I will tell you as much as I can, but as you get older and more mature, that voice should be your own- it should reflect your acknowledgement of the statements’ truth. You should say it because you believe it.
I promise that I will give you the foundation for healthy eating and living that you need to survive, so that you are not playing catch-up with your weight and health.
I promise that I will teach you (as much as I can) about how to regulate your body, so that you will not need medication to regulate it for you.
I need to tell you that while I cannot protect you from the pain that comes with love and lust and infatuation, you can survive it- and get something beautiful in return.
I will try never to judge those whom you choose to love, but I need you to have enough love for self that you demand respect and reciprocity at all times.
Dream big, and often, and in varying ways. Let your light shine in as many forms as possible. And be patient with my need to protect you. If I’m hindering your dream, don’t push me away. Help me understand.
As you walk this road, it will be full of those who will imply that you are not enough. Not thin enough, not thick enough, not pretty enough, not unique enough, not smart enough, not… enough. You CANNOT believe them. They are wrong- they are misinformed. You are enough, my beautiful daughter. You are enough.
Love,
Mom
Shameka Writes 